FOBFO

Many of you have heard about the popular term FOMO, which stands for the Fear of Missing Out.  Our kids are certainly plagued with this very idea day in and day out, especially with the influx of daily updates on social media.  As adults, we certainly feel FOMO in our own lives. However, each time I hear FOMO, I think to myself, “There is something else that I fear more.”  

Thus, I would like to introduce the term FOBFO!  For so many educators, this fear is pervasive and can destroy your self-esteem, confidence, and the important impact we all have in the lives of kids.  So, what does FOBFO stand for? The Fear of Being Found Out!  

We have all been in the place of giving wonderful advice, “No one is perfect!”  “We are all in the process of learning and growing.” “Fail Forward!” However, how many of you are found paralyzed and afraid that someday, someone will find out that you don’t have it all together?  They’ll find out that you struggle to balance work and home. They’ll find out that you do not have the expertise in every content area. They’ll find out…(You fill in the blank!)  

I recently talked about the term FOBFO with a group of moms.  They said, “Oh my goodness, YES!!” I told them, as a Principal, I often worry that people will find out that I struggle with my own kids, even though they entrust me with theirs. I struggle getting my son to balance life and gaming.  This past year, I was so overwhelmed that I almost forgot my daughter’s birthday! (I said almost!) One mom shared that she was embarrassed to share that she and her son did not cry while dropping him off at college for the first time.    The other moms said, “No! Don’t be ashamed. That means you gave him all the skills to be confident and happy in this new venture.” I was so proud to hear how this small group of moms gathered around and lifted each other.  

So, how do we combat FOBFO?  

Step 1:  Own it and #TellYourStory!

Sharing your story of your own “human” side helps to make everyone realize that we are not alone.  Share your truths and know that we are all great at something, not expected to be great at everything.

Step 2:  Take a deep breath!

When you see that so many others are in the same boat, take a deep breath.  Realize that we are all doing our very best and that, in and of itself, is AWESOME!

Step 3:  Keep a “Happiness Folder” and Peek In!

There is no doubt that if you work with kids, you have had moments where they have provided wonderful little gems of happiness.  Whether it is a morning hug, a little card, a high five in the hallway, or an email thanking you for making a difference, there is always something that reminds you of our “WHY” for this incredible work.  SAVE these moments in a “Happiness Folder” and tuck it away. When you are in the struggles of FOBFO, take a moment to open that folder and smile. You deserve it!

Step 4:  Reach out!

We all have our personal and professional lifesavers.  For me, it’s my awesome husband and some of my colleagues like Jodi!  I also have my Twitter inspirations like Todd Nesloney or Adam Dovico – who have more energy than the energizer bunny and they thrive on celebrating EVERYONE!  Find those people. Share. LISTEN to their positivity.  

(Jodi and I are always here, too, and we would LOVE to connect! Reach out to us!)

Step 5:  Keep going and keep sharing the UNIQUE YOU with the world!

Don’t stop and don’t give up!  Keep sharing who you are with the world.  You may need a change of scenery or a new opportunity to re-energize your passion.  But, do not change who you are. This world needs you! We need you! And, that is worth finding out!

Share your own experiences with #FOBFO